As I am packing my suitcase for my trip I am worrying about Jake. Not about my absence right now because there are adults that are going to look after him for the twelve days that I am going to be gone. I worry about what will happen to him after I leave this world.
Who will make sure that he has food? Who will make sure that he sees the doctor? Who will make sure that he gets his medication? Who will take him to the store for his video games? Who will make sure that his clothes are clean? Who will make sure that the world doesn't hurt him? I couldn't protect him from the school district and the emotional and psychological abuse that they heaped upon him, but I have learned so much since then and I protect him with all that I have now. Who will make sure that he has a place to live, heat, electricity, and air? Who is going to do all of the things that I will no longer be able to do?
Many times he has told me that he wants to die when I die. He tells me that he doesn't want to live without me. I don't want that for him. I want him to live to a very old age. But, what have we done to make him want to?
Why do we allow our teachers, principals, administrators, legislators, etc. to hold our children's lives in their hands? Why do we continue to allow these people to destroy our children's futures and lives? Why are these people not held accountable for their neglect and abuse?
What is going to happen to the other children like Jake? Society doesn't care. They see our children as a drain on taxes, a nuisance in the classroom, a hindrance to their children's education.
I have read more than one commentary that says that special education students shouldn't be in the classroom with their children. Their children are advanced students that will make a difference in the world and they need all of the resources that the school district has to help them attain their goal. Well, my child could have made a difference, too. But, the resources that he so desperately needed were not there. They were used on the students that would score high on tests and make the district look good. They were used on band uniforms that would make the district look affluent. They were used on AstroTurf that made our football team look better. They were used on a swimming pool to make the swimming team look better. They were used on an administrative center that make the district look as good as the county to the west.
I don't want anyone's pity. My son has blessed my life in so many ways. I want people to get angry. I want them to get as angry as I am and I want them to stand up and say, "I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore." I want millions to stand up and say that EVERY child is special and deserves a chance at a future. I want EVERY parent to go to bed at night knowing that their child has gotten EVERY chance at a successful future and that they can die without worry.